I woke up to get dress in formal attire for my meeting with Elizabethtown College's academic administration. We were to talk about on if I was to be readmitted to Elizabethtown College because some of my grades were not the best with my psychology and my american now class of an average of D+. While other classes political science and English Composition 100 where a bit better of an average of C. They have a strict policy on what average a student must have to continue. This was just my first semester at the college just after getting off my final high school summer break. It has been a couple of weeks since I left for winter break. It was getting close to the new semester. I have had no trouble with school so this is my first time fearing what would happen. It scared me even more since it was on a higher level than high school where there is some room for goofing. I tried to think of what I could do to prepare even more as I was getting dress. I had already set up a schedule where i would improve myself and a speech to inform of what I did and explain myself. I came to the conclusion that I had everything that I could possibly do to try and help me at the hearing. All I knew about it was that teachers from separate fields of study were going to ask me some questions. I was still feeling a bit queasy from last night. Yet that was what I knew that I needed to stay calm. I try to grab a good breakfast of toast and strawberry yogurt. I quickly eat the breakfast as fast as I could.
The clock was slowly ticking as time seem to be moving faster. My father and mother quickly rush me over to the car as if time was flying faster than the flash. The weapons of ink written in the power of the mental blacksmith. We rush fast going in taking the hour way route as fast as big brother would allow. Even with such speed it seemed as though we were going nowhere. We drove fast and barely caring of what way we go. All we know was to go forward. Unfortunately we missed a turn and had to go back to the place we needed to turn. We only had four minutes to spare before we could reach our destination. The fear started to strangle my innards again. I could only think to reread my speech in hope of it bringing me any kind of solace. Luckily we made it with only a minute to spare.
I tried to run as quickly as I could up the stairs that I took so many times when I went to one of my classes. When we got there we found they were still in a meeting and I had a couple more minutes to prepare. This brought some relief of the stress that was affecting my mind. Though as time seem to linger my heart was beating so harder that I thought others could hear it. My right leg was so jittery it was as if it wanted to say hey look at me. Finally they called my name telling to head in to the room. I slowly walked on. It felt like time seemed to slow but I told myself this is not my execution but just a meeting.
In darkness I have faced many kinds of terrors. Yet I fear that the wolves that surround me are the worst. For they seem to be eyeing me up ready to pounce and try to destroy me. The room that we were in seem to drain any hope that I may have had. Even though I have been in that room many a time. Yet that was when I had friends with me. Now I am all alone. I knew that I was somewhat prepared. I sat down on a chair that was supposed to be comfortable only feeling like I was going to my execution. I open my mouth and said, “Board of Education I am happy to stand trial for my remittance to Elizabethtown College.”
They then pounced on me asking about what I did during my school year. I answered calmly trying to fulfill all the requirements but I felt as if they can hear my heart exploding in my chest. They seemed so finely dress with business attire. Some of different sizes and shapes. Some going with ties yet only one was in a bow tie. They kept on asking me questions as if I was part of the inquisition. Asking me only on my faults and what problems may array in the future. I answered these questions with all the honesty in my heart. Yet I could feel that they seem not to believe me. I decide to show them the plan that I had set up to improve. Yet they just abandon that as if it was just a distraction that did not matter. My heart fell when I saw this for I have worked hard on it and it to be dismissed scared me that I would be toast. For if they were not willing to see what I was committed to try and improve why would they care about me as a person.
They sent out a professor that I knew who would help me out of this situation. He told me to follow him to his office. I asked if my parents could come for any support before they lay their judgement on me. He said yes and we continue to follow him. It seemed as though I was following him to my grave. My fear raised the situation to even a higher point than it real was. We sat down on chairs that I had seen a hundred of times during my semester. They laid down that I could come back or that I can leave. It was my decision. I could sign my name down on a paper that basically said last chance and it is do or die time. I was ready for I remember the great times I had there and the great friends that I made. Yet my parents asked questions that got me to think about what I was to do. I stopped to think what was the right choice. Then the professor laid out an option of a term at a community college could be best for me. I was surprise for I thought that this may not have been an option. I lowered the pen that was in my hand making me think more about my options.
I knew that I need to improve to be able to reach the degree that I wanted but I could not without the proper resources which they did not provide. So I sighed and said I will take the semester off. For while I knew I would miss my friends I knew if I was to succeed in life I must improve. We got the forms and sign off on all that was necessary.
This seems to be a minor decision but academics has always been an important part of my life. To me this was for I had to decide whether I wanted to be an independent trying to go to a full fledged college only to struggle, or to try to improve myself but miss out on the lifestyle and friends that grew close to me over the semester. Yet if I choose the other decision and struggle through I may have not had such a great experience with the new people that I meet. There is also me truly finding in what would be good for me. There could also be the chance that I would have dropped out and failed waiting for who knows how long to get into a good college. Though the most important reason that I think for this paper is that it would not have existed unless I made that decision. I am trying to reach my potential now but even still I wish I knew what results could have happened if I choose the other. I would like to say though through this I gain a good experience and rose my confidence as a speaker. Thinking back what I consider to be my darkest moment was the time where I had found the light that I needed for my future.