When I look back at the semester I think I have improve quite alot as a writer. For I have a better idea of the style that I write. This will help me figure out what kind of problems I would face in future assignments. It also helps to know on how I can avoid the mistakes that I have found in my writing. There is also on knowing what kind of mindset I need to leave to improve my writing. For my writing style could be considered looking at a Greek pot. For if you notice in some of my earlier writing I write with a note of metaphor and exaggeration. This is good for writing fiction yet if a person is writing about a topic that needs focus then that subject would be less exaggerated. When looking back I feel like I also improved as a person too. For the class brought up topics that I had no idea where still major topics. To which I am happy to say that while my view on the world darken I appreciate the knowledge obtained. Tell me would such a lesson not be worth if you finally see the clouds of ignorance gone. Yet as the saying goes sometimes it is better to be ignorant then knowledgeable about a subject. With all my heart I hope that you have enjoyed my writings and be please with all my ideas For minds can only grow if they are all willing to talk and accept.
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This I wonder sentences
Asking me Only on my thoughts and what problems may arise in the future.(passive voice, Fragment) The Board of education asked me about my thoughts and about what problems may come in the future(active voice, Complete sentence). They have a strict policy on what average a student must have to continue.(Undefined subject not complete thought) Elizabethtown has a strict policy on what average student must have as a grade to continue as a student.( defined subject, complete thought Thinking back what I consider to be my darkest moment was the time where I had found the light that I needed for my future. (Passive voice, run on) When i look back what I consider to be the darkest moment, was where i had found the light to a brighter future. (Active voice complete sentence) This I argue Sentences There needs to be a changed with how the government spends money for programs, not rely on outside sources.(run on undefined subject) The government must change on how the government’s spending on programs to feed the hungry. (defined subject complete sentence) . For the food that is being provide now or can be afford are foods that are not filled with the nutritional needs of humans (cluncky sentence) The food being provided now, or can be afford are foods not filled with the right nutritional needs.(less cluncky sentence) If this does not seem feasible to many but at the moment there are over 50 million people not getting food or not getting the right nutrition.(cluncky sentence to many words) This may not seem Feasible to some but at the moment over 50 million people are going hungry or not getting the right food.(Less clunky less words) My topic sentence for My this I argue essay is “The American government is right now helping Americans get fat and starve.” This describes the current events and the problem that needs changes. Next is my thesis statement which describes on how the problem can be changed “ Though right now the American Government could change this if taken more of an interest and willing to change.” The main source that I get my data is from A place at the Table a documentary which describes the situation of hunger and how the problem of the government not helping to change the situation but suggest solutions for changes to able to access money.
The main point of my essay is to find solutions to problems and how they could possibly change. I make mention on how to change the budget. I also make mention on economic theories that could help payment of food. I finally make mention of government needs to be update and reform food stamp program. Thus it ends my essay. The American government is right now helping Americans get fat and starve. Though right now the American Government could change this if taken more of an interest and willing to change. For while they decide to help out different countries from starving. They are ignoring those at home causing trouble and problems for the common folk. This can be seen in how charities are being more used than government programs. Yet they can change this process to help people stop from starving and stop the obesity epidemic.Right now fruit and vegetables is at an all time high price. This is relating to the supply and demand equation. Since there is not enough supply there cause problem with demand. Because right now Americans are calling for more fruits and vegetables but cannot afford it.There needs to be a changed with how the government spends money for programs, not rely on outside sources.
Right now there needs to be more money for programs like food stamps and student lunch program. For the food that is being provide now or can be afford are foods that are not filled with the nutritional needs of humans (A Place at the Table. Dir. Kristi Jacobson and Dir. Lori Silverbush. Participant Media.). Usually it is food that is high in artificial chemicals that help with obesity. If there were changes in budget schools and families may be able to afford things like fresh fruit and vegetables (A Place at the Table. Dir. Kristi Jacobson and Dir. Lori Silverbush. Participant Media.) . For there is already a call for change in the system but government is not helping out the situation. With many famous people trying to support the cause. They make note on countless times trying to fix the problem of not enough cheap healthy food in the movie A Place at the Table. The government is helping out many farms to produce products. Some of the money is spent on food that is useful for other products. Mostly it is being spent on things to produce clothes or unhealthy food (A Place at the Table. Dir. Kristi Jacobson and Dir. Lori Silverbush. Participant Media.). Yet fruit and vegetables are hard to produce instead of these other products. Thus it is safer to produce these items instead of what is harder. This money is being spent mostly on food that goes to business that are not useful to the keep people healthy. There needs to be an update to where farm subsidies get the extra money from the government. The government is right now is helping out big farm produce cheap unhealthy food then fruit that would give the right nutrition. yet if money for subsidies changes to things towards fruit and vegetables the big farms would then want to move to the healthier food so that they can get that money. Thus when the increase of fruit and vegetable supplies increase making it more accessible. Along with the rule of supply and demand the price of these fruits and vegetables would go down. Thus many other groups can obtain the right nutrition that many Americans are losing nowadays. This would also decrease the supply of junk food thus raising the prices of these products. Which then will help stop the waste of money on unhealthy food. Then hypothetically help lower obesity and raise a higher healthy lifestyle then what is being obtain nowadays. If the reader does not believe that there is a problem then lets look into the movie A Place at the Table where there are many families facing these problems. Some of these families who cannot afford the right food are having trouble and it is affecting the lives of their children. If we look at Rosie a young fifth grader of a poor family who sometimes goes hungry have problems at school. This condition has been related to on how she can not obtain the right food or be able to eat food at times. When right now it is important for her to obtain the right nutrition if she wants to live a healthy life. Yet this is not the only case of this happening because of food conditions.There is Barbie who right now lives in Philadelphia who has a job while being a single parent. Because she cannot afford the proper food for her children they are having problems with their mental growth along with physical growth. This happens when food that should be healthy for humans is at prices that common folk cannot afford at an everyday paycheck. If this does not seem feasible to many but at the moment there are over 50 million people not getting food or not getting the right nutrition. Yet there are some programs that try to solve an issue that has plagued Americans since its founding. The problem with the current system for food assistance is that it is out of date. It was supposed to work only for a short period of time and did not change when the prices of food inflated. Then those who have just gotten off of these programs because of having only a minor increase paycheck. Yet depending on the situation they still need food to feed their families. Which in the case of Barbie a person interviewed in a Place At the Table she cannot really feed herself and her children the right amount. If the program updated so that after the right amount money is considered right to sustain oneself. That after a certain amount of time do they get completely cut off from the program. This can happen if the transfer of funds from areas that are not needed anymore or make it so that the process is more stream line. This can happen by firing unnecessary positions or reform the programs so that while it is hard to get in it is still be able to get access through. There can also be with these changes random checks to see if the person is using the program for the use required instead of misusing it for only self benefit. Is it hard to believe that even if people live in a great country will they still be harmed. The problem that some of these ideas that many may think will be the problem would be acceptance, and money. From just the look of what the result of A Place at the Table showing that they will agree. Yet politicians would probably say that there cannot any change since when a change of some magnitude is usually denied. Yet if the collaboration of many groups this could change. There are some programs where money can be transferred from certain areas of the government. One such program that needs less money is military for while protection is needed the military said there has been so wasteful spending. If this goes on then undeniably will be a change. There needs to be a change. For many are right now are being harmed by the in action of the government. Unless the people are committed and do not falter then there will be a change. This has been seen over the last century with groups wanting to make a change. Make a stand and become part of the change that can help out over 50 million people. The end for an unhealthy life should begin now with the American citizens leading this revolution. With A place at the Table it talks about how people are not getting the right nutrition. So the government made a Program called SNAP which is supposed to take care of this problem. Yet they are underfunded. I believe that they should increase the funding by 30% to make sure that the proper food can be given and bought by the people. The movie also goes on about the definition food insecurity, and starving. I believe that food insecurity is not having the knowledge of where they can obtain nutritional meal. With starving having gone without food for 15 days which is the halfway point before it is considered to be deadly. Solutions to this is to update the system of providing assistance and also transfer funds from subsidies to fruits and vegetables that way fruit prices will decrease while some of the junk food prices will increase. This then leading into a more gradual growth of fruit and vegetables being eaten and decrease obesity at the same time. While I do not live in a food desert I believe to solve the problem is to plant areas where fruits and vegetables can grow with groups of volunteers helping. Since there is a diversity of ways one can grow food of use of greenhouses to grow the necessary crops over the winters. I feel there is to much of a reliance on charities that is to drastic. I believe this could lead to a downfall for it has already happen in the past during the great depression. Like I mention before the government should move money from the certain crop farms to places where they offer fruit and vegetables growing the population to a healthier life style. The most common myth that is false for food banks is that it only gives to those who do not have a job when it is the opposite.
A Place at the Table is a documentary of how Americans are not receiving the right nutrition or food. They look at different areas to see what the situation is like for these Americans. They look into the lives of Rosie a fifth grader who lives in a suburban town, Barbie a single mother of two children who just lost her job and lives in Philadelphia, Janet who is checking out the situation. As the movie progresses it talks about facts and data on how children are not being the right amount of food or nutrition. The cast contribute this to an outdated system that tries to solve the problem. They also contribute that the government and stores not helping to stop the situation. This is seen where they show the government making more subsidies to farms that produce certain food products that make into things like chips than other farms that try to grow fruit. They also make note on how even though there has been people wanting change and also thee changes made do not help out these people. The crew looked a bit later at Barbie who after three months got a job but were left for worse because she got off food stamps now had less food to feed her children. Which mentioned in the movie causes great harm to children. For they are not getting the nutrients need to grow mentally and physically. The overall story is that while America is doing something to try to fix the problem there is still many who are being harm from the inactivity that politicians are committing.
The darkness surrounded me as time seem to fly. A clocked chime telling that destiny was coming closer. A small light hitting my face while I prepared my weapons for a war that I had no idea if I was prepared for. My stomach was filled with fear. It felt so weird to feel so scared for the coming battle. Yet the fear strangled my organs making them feel its dark and icy hands. I looked at my sword of ink looking to see if it was sharpen to the point of killing. Though darkness kept on creeping filling my mind up with worry. It was a tidal wave of doubt that cross my mind destroying what once was hope. I looked back at my blade and try again to sharpen it to the point of perfection. I sighed putting it down in hopes that everything was perfect. I press the print button hoping that my speech turned out well. I walked to my bed slowly as if every step through the books that I surrounded myself. I hoped that with each step I would take would slow time down so that I would have more time to prepare for my meeting with the academic committee. Yet it only seem that time had moved faster causing me to hurry to my bed with red sheets. To deny this fear though I realize was folly for many brave souls were once scared. Though they accepted and passed on to find victory in conflict of both voice of a common man and of war. That lighten my spirit just a bit. Realizing while I may not be praised as a great hero in whatever event was to come. I know that I would feel better after this conference of me being a student at Elizabethtown College is over. Even though, realizing this did not put me to ease as I toss and turn in my bed waiting for the alarm to go off.
I woke up to get dress in formal attire for my meeting with Elizabethtown College's academic administration. We were to talk about on if I was to be readmitted to Elizabethtown College because some of my grades were not the best with my psychology and my american now class of an average of D+. While other classes political science and English Composition 100 where a bit better of an average of C. They have a strict policy on what average a student must have to continue. This was just my first semester at the college just after getting off my final high school summer break. It has been a couple of weeks since I left for winter break. It was getting close to the new semester. I have had no trouble with school so this is my first time fearing what would happen. It scared me even more since it was on a higher level than high school where there is some room for goofing. I tried to think of what I could do to prepare even more as I was getting dress. I had already set up a schedule where i would improve myself and a speech to inform of what I did and explain myself. I came to the conclusion that I had everything that I could possibly do to try and help me at the hearing. All I knew about it was that teachers from separate fields of study were going to ask me some questions. I was still feeling a bit queasy from last night. Yet that was what I knew that I needed to stay calm. I try to grab a good breakfast of toast and strawberry yogurt. I quickly eat the breakfast as fast as I could. The clock was slowly ticking as time seem to be moving faster. My father and mother quickly rush me over to the car as if time was flying faster than the flash. The weapons of ink written in the power of the mental blacksmith. We rush fast going in taking the hour way route as fast as big brother would allow. Even with such speed it seemed as though we were going nowhere. We drove fast and barely caring of what way we go. All we know was to go forward. Unfortunately we missed a turn and had to go back to the place we needed to turn. We only had four minutes to spare before we could reach our destination. The fear started to strangle my innards again. I could only think to reread my speech in hope of it bringing me any kind of solace. Luckily we made it with only a minute to spare. I tried to run as quickly as I could up the stairs that I took so many times when I went to one of my classes. When we got there we found they were still in a meeting and I had a couple more minutes to prepare. This brought some relief of the stress that was affecting my mind. Though as time seem to linger my heart was beating so harder that I thought others could hear it. My right leg was so jittery it was as if it wanted to say hey look at me. Finally they called my name telling to head in to the room. I slowly walked on. It felt like time seemed to slow but I told myself this is not my execution but just a meeting. In darkness I have faced many kinds of terrors. Yet I fear that the wolves that surround me are the worst. For they seem to be eyeing me up ready to pounce and try to destroy me. The room that we were in seem to drain any hope that I may have had. Even though I have been in that room many a time. Yet that was when I had friends with me. Now I am all alone. I knew that I was somewhat prepared. I sat down on a chair that was supposed to be comfortable only feeling like I was going to my execution. I open my mouth and said, “Board of Education I am happy to stand trial for my remittance to Elizabethtown College.” They then pounced on me asking about what I did during my school year. I answered calmly trying to fulfill all the requirements but I felt as if they can hear my heart exploding in my chest. They seemed so finely dress with business attire. Some of different sizes and shapes. Some going with ties yet only one was in a bow tie. They kept on asking me questions as if I was part of the inquisition. Asking me only on my faults and what problems may array in the future. I answered these questions with all the honesty in my heart. Yet I could feel that they seem not to believe me. I decide to show them the plan that I had set up to improve. Yet they just abandon that as if it was just a distraction that did not matter. My heart fell when I saw this for I have worked hard on it and it to be dismissed scared me that I would be toast. For if they were not willing to see what I was committed to try and improve why would they care about me as a person. They sent out a professor that I knew who would help me out of this situation. He told me to follow him to his office. I asked if my parents could come for any support before they lay their judgement on me. He said yes and we continue to follow him. It seemed as though I was following him to my grave. My fear raised the situation to even a higher point than it real was. We sat down on chairs that I had seen a hundred of times during my semester. They laid down that I could come back or that I can leave. It was my decision. I could sign my name down on a paper that basically said last chance and it is do or die time. I was ready for I remember the great times I had there and the great friends that I made. Yet my parents asked questions that got me to think about what I was to do. I stopped to think what was the right choice. Then the professor laid out an option of a term at a community college could be best for me. I was surprise for I thought that this may not have been an option. I lowered the pen that was in my hand making me think more about my options. I knew that I need to improve to be able to reach the degree that I wanted but I could not without the proper resources which they did not provide. So I sighed and said I will take the semester off. For while I knew I would miss my friends I knew if I was to succeed in life I must improve. We got the forms and sign off on all that was necessary. This seems to be a minor decision but academics has always been an important part of my life. To me this was for I had to decide whether I wanted to be an independent trying to go to a full fledged college only to struggle, or to try to improve myself but miss out on the lifestyle and friends that grew close to me over the semester. Yet if I choose the other decision and struggle through I may have not had such a great experience with the new people that I meet. There is also me truly finding in what would be good for me. There could also be the chance that I would have dropped out and failed waiting for who knows how long to get into a good college. Though the most important reason that I think for this paper is that it would not have existed unless I made that decision. I am trying to reach my potential now but even still I wish I knew what results could have happened if I choose the other. I would like to say though through this I gain a good experience and rose my confidence as a speaker. Thinking back what I consider to be my darkest moment was the time where I had found the light that I needed for my future. This will come from my This I wonder essay rough draft. So this is a poem where I take parts of it and make into a poem.
\ 6/1 James Sabitino Composition The rain of choices Darkness surrounded me as time fly Fear strangled my organs I printed my speech in hope it was ready / \ Trying to be readmitted to college / l \ Had trouble in school for first time \ l / A time that no mistakes can be made \ / We rush taking the hour long ride We miss the turn Barely any time to spare My heart beating could be heard I stood before the wolves They asked me questions They try to find what went w rong Never allowing me to show my plan to fix I had my hand over the paper to go back another option of a term at community college I laid down the pen with no paper sign The social systems that are in Redeployment is education and society. Education can be seen when the soldier is being condition to do his duty in war. Then there is also the effect of how this education affecting him in normal society. So as seen with this conflict is that when he is trying to readjust to normal society. Yet unfortunately that cause the problem of how they face an environment that he could not understand. There is also where he knew he had to take down the dog. This affecting him making it feel as if nothing was going to be felt. The problem with society is that they were not really caring that the man is having problems. But overall society unacceptance of this problem makes this story more interesting. Sin of ignorance seems to make some stories great. I just wish it did not transitioned into normal society as it had.
James Hoffman
Sabition Mangini English composition 100 6/12/14 The Rain of Choices The darkness surrounded me as time seem to fly. A clocked chime telling that destiny was coming closer. A small light hitting my face while I prepared my weapons for a war that I had no idea if I was prepared for. My stomach was filled with fear. It felt so weird to feel so scared for the coming battle. Yet the fear strangled my organs making them feel its dark and icy hands. I looked at my sword of ink looking to see if it was sharpen to the point of killing. Though darkness kept on creeping filling my mind up with worry. It was a tidal wave of doubt that cross my mind destroying what once was hope. I looked back at my blade and try again to sharpen it to the point of perfection. I sighed putting it down in hopes that everything was perfect. I press the print button hoping that my speech turned out well. I walked to my bed slowly as if every step through the books that I surrounded myself. I hoped that with each step I would take would slow time down so that I would have more time to prepare. Yet it only seem that time had moved faster causing me to hurry to my bed with red sheets. To deny this fear though I realize was folly for many brave souls were once scared. Though they accepted and passed on to find victory in conflict of both voice of a common man and of war. That lighten my spirit just a bit. Realizing while I may not be praised as a great hero in whatever event was to come. I know that I would feel better after this conference is over. Even though, realizing this did not put me to ease as I toss and turn in my bed waiting for the horn calling for me to go to war. Slowly I felt Morpheus calling my name as night goes on which slowly I follow as he took me to a land of dreamless sleep. I woke up to get dress in formal attire for my meeting with Elizabethtown College's academic administration. We were to talk about on if I was to be readmitted to Elizabethtown College because some of my grades were not the best while other classes where a bit better. It has been a couple of weeks since I left for winter break. It was getting close to the new semester. I have had no trouble with school so this is my first time fearing what would happen. It scared me even more since it was on a higher level than high school where there is some room for goofing. I tried to think of what I could do to prepare even more as I was getting dress. I came to the conclusion that I had everything that I could possibly do to try and help me at the hearing. All I knew about it was that teachers from separate fields of study were going to ask me some questions. I was still feeling a bit queasy from last night. Yet that was what I knew that I needed to stay calm. I try to grab a good breakfast of toast and strawberry yogurt. I quickly eat the breakfast as fast as I could. The clock was slowly ticking as time seem to be moving faster. My father and mother quickly rush me over to the car as if time was flying faster than the flash. The weapons of ink written in the power of the mental blacksmith. We rush fast going in taking the hour way route as fast as big brother would allow. Even with such speed it seemed as though we were going nowhere. We drove fast and barely caring of what way we go. All we know was to go forward. Unfortunately we missed a turn and had to go back to the place we needed to turn. We only had four minutes to spare before we could reach our destination. The fear started to strangle my innards again. I could only think to reread my speech in hope of it bringing me any kind of solace. The hope that I had seems to be flying away as we drove on. Luckily we made it with only a minute to spare. I tried to run as quickly as I could up the stairs that I took so many times when I went to one of my classes. When we got there we found they were still in a meeting and I had a couple more minutes to prepare. As time seem to linger my heart was beating so hard that I thought others could hear it. My right leg was so jittery it was as if it wanted to say hey look at me I am scared out of my wits. Finally they called my name telling to head in to the room. I slowly walked on. It felt as if darkness was slowly closing on me as I walked closer even though there were many lights on in the hallway. In darkness I have faced many kinds of terrors. Yet I fear that the wolves that surround me are the worst. For they seem to be eyeing me up ready to pounce and try to destroy me. The room that we were in seem to drain any hope that I may have had. Even though I have been in that room many a time. Yet that was when I had friends with me. Now I am all alone. I knew that I was somewhat prepared. I sat down on a chair that was supposed to be comfortable only feeling like I was going to my execution. I open my mouth and said, “Board of Education I am happy to stand trial for my remittance to Elizabethtown College.” They then pounce on me asking about what I did during my school year. I answered calmly trying to fulfill all the requirements but I felt as if they can hear my heart exploding in my chest. They seemed so finely dress with business attire. Some of different sizes and shapes. Some going with ties yet only one was in a bow tie. They kept on asking me questions as if I was part of the inquisition. Asking me only on my faults and what problems may array in the future. I answered these questions with all the honesty in my heart. Yet I could feel that they seem not to believe me. I decide to show them the plan that I had set up to improve. Yet they just abandon that as if it was just a distraction that did not matter. My heart fell when I saw this for I have worked hard on it and it to be dismissed scared me that I would be toast. That all the preparations were for naught. They sent out a professor that I knew who would help me out of this situation. He told me to follow him to his office. I asked if my parents could come for any support before they lay their judgement on me. He said yes and we continue to follow him. It seemed as though I was following him to my grave. My fear raised the situation to even a higher point than it real was. We sat down on chairs that I had seen a hundred of times during my semester. They laid down that I could come back or that I can leave. It was my decision. I could sign my name down on a paper that basically said last chance and it is do or die time. I was ready for I remember the great times I had there and the great friends that I made. Yet my parents asked questions that got me to think about what I was to do. I stopped to think what was the right choice. Then the professor laid out an option of a term at a community college could be best for me. I was surprise for I thought that this may not have been an option. I lowered the pen that was in my hand making me think more about my options. I knew that I need to improve to be able to reach the degree that I wanted but I could not without the proper resources which they did not provide. So I sighed and said I will take the semester off. For while I knew I would miss my friends I knew if I was to succeed in life I must improve. We got the forms and sign off on all that was necessary. To those who maybe reading this may wonder why write this dramatic thing as a major decision. To me this was for I had to decide whether I wanted to be an indepent trying to go to a full fledged college only to struggle, or to try to improve myself but miss out on the lifestyle and friends that grew close to me over the semester. Yet if I choose the other decision and struggle through I may have not had such a great experience with the new people that I meet. There is also me truly finding in what would be good for me. There could also be the chance that I would have dropped out and failed waiting for who knows how long to get into a good college. Though the most important reason that I think for this paper is that it would not have existed unless I made that decision. I am trying to reach my potential now but even still I wish I knew what results could have happened if I choose the other. I hope that the reader of this will learn something but also they will try to obtain the best of themselves. So what kind of mistakes are there? What could make this better? Did I use to much show or is it just the right amount? |